Are you conditioning people around you to not like you?

Have you ever noticed how the atmosphere changes when you walk into a room? Okay think about this, which one of the two sound more like you?

You walk into your workplace with playful energy, wearing a smile and asking people how their day is going, you might be lifting the spirits of those around you.

On the other hand, you may be a person that walks in with a serious, stern look, you sometimes may have even noticed that everyone becomes more serious as you pass by.

Regardless of how you feel on a particular day, the way people react to you is often a result of how you have conditioned them to behave around you. If you usually bring playful energy, people will feel happier when they see you, even if you’re having a gloomy day. Conversely, if you’re typically stern, your jolly mood may not be enough to change how people react to your presence.

The objective of this article is to draw attention to the fact that it is well within your control on how you wish to condition people around you. This is something everyone does, whether knowingly or unknowingly, so if it is going to happen anyway, why not use it for your benefit?

The way we interact with others creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, shaping how people respond to us, that means - People form opinions and expectations about us based on our consistent patterns of behavior. To understand how you’ve conditioned your colleagues you could do that by mere observation, or you can even simply ask them what they think about the energy you bring. You could even ask how it makes them feel. Although it is preferable you ask this question when an honest answer can be expected.

If you discover, that you wish to change the way you have conditioned people around you, you may have to start doing activities which will associate you with the kind of impression you want them to have of you. For example, you discovered that most of your subordinates tense up as you arrive, and you have conditioned them to be like that, and you wish to change that, you may need to do simple things like telling them a new joke every day, ask how their day is going, or make plans with them, perhaps get something for their kids, or give them a lunch treat. The ways to do that are endless.

Now I know this change comes at a cost, and it is not as easy as the examples presented. But the point of this article was to bring to notice that if that sounds like you, that is because they have started associating you with overtime, extra work, reprimanding, you get the idea.

Getting things done is for sure nerve-racking. But it does not have to come at the cost of your colleagues not liking you. If you think about it, how are they ever going to be able to work with motivation and vigor for you, if they don’t like you?

Perhaps, it is important that people find a way to get things done, without making everyone around them dislike them, because that relationship with your colleagues can only go so far.